We're snuggled together in the dark room rubbing noses and
"When did you get so big?"
"Daddy made you big?"
"Uh huh" she nods and smiles behind the paci that I really
should get around to weaning her from.
"You want mama to sing?"
So I hold her tight and sing her "mama song" (not to be confused
with Daddy song, those are his lullabies I am not allowed to sing
I try to take the whole moment in, brief as it is in the
darkness of night. Moments like this is with the child who healed a
broken heart are few and far between now. There is a new baby
demanding time and attention that only mommy can give.
She is coming into her own personality, it's exploding out of
her and blossoming faster than her and I can keep up with.
She is our most toddlerish toddler. Getting into things and
doing things that our others never did. She dances on tables,
steals cookies from the table and throws her body flat out on the
floor in tantrum.
She is also still the most loving child I have ever meet. She
always offers to share her food. She can't walk by the baby without
kissing him. If someone is hurt or upset she gives them hugs and
kisses, tears do not go unanswered or noticed by her.
It's been a tough adjustment for her. Going from being the
littlest one that had mommy to herself all day long to sharing time
and space with her new brother. I've had times of doubt wondering
if I broke her spirit by making her an older sister.
But in these small stolen moments in the early morning before
her baby brother rises or when I can sneak away at bedtime I can
see she's still there. The little loving angel that healed our
hearts is still there, she's just growing up, learning her place in
the world and our family. Sometimes her passion comes through in
loud and tantruming ways and sometimes it's in the sweet kisses on
her brothers head.
Melissa is mom to 4 kids and 2 angels. She chronicles the sticky bits of motherhood at Peanut Butter in my Hair.
See more of Melissa's stories here.
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