So much of the focus and stress surrounding our impending move (that’s TOMORROW) has been worrying how the kids will adjust. Will they like their new rooms? Will they adjust to new schools? New camps? Will they make new friends? Will they be . . . HAPPY??
I’ve forgotten to ask myself these questions too. (Not the camp one, but you get the idea). I’m moving to a town that I’ve never lived in before, in a part of the county that is completely unfamiliar to me. It’s only 30 minutes from where I’ve spent the last decade – but 30 minutes might as well be 100 miles when it comes to the big picture of things. Where will I grocery shop? Where are the best dry cleaners? Who is going to cut my hair? Where are all of my favorite stores that I will need to run errands for my family? It seems silly and simple to think about but it’s the little things that will drive you completely insane when you move. The easy, everyday life things that you take for granted because you’ve been going to the same place for so long that you don’t really need to think about it. Your car just drives there on autopilot and there’s a comfort in the store owners knowing you and what you like.
(Don’t even get me started on finding a new Starbucks to go to every morning. I’ve been looking for two months and there isn’t one that’s close to my house with a drive thru. It was almost a deal breaker on buying this house.)
Not to mention that I don’t really know anyone that lives in the area. Yes, my friends all own cars and can drive 30 minutes north to see me. But we are all busy moms with families on crazy schedules. It’s a struggle now, trying to see each other once a month for Bunco or once a quarter for my blogger-girl lunches. Now what? What am I going to do without seeing familiar faces every day at the local park, floral nursery and shopping mall? The thought makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry!
Making friends as an adult woman is HARD! Finding friends that have similar enough styles and situations as you so that you can hang out but still manage to do your own thing within your family and not seem like you are snubbing them is difficult. I’m a bit of a homebody, and I’m not much of a drinker. I like my kids and my family, and I enjoy being with them. I also have the added challenge of being a somewhat single mom. I have a partner that lives with me full-time, but we both have different schedules and different kids’ lives that we are involved in. Having the time to pitch in with the other one’s kids on a solo-mission for purely social purposes is a luxury that neither of us usually have time for.
But that doesn’t mean I’m a loner. Or that I have no interest in being social. I’m hesitant of my new surrounding and people as much as my kids are. I want to fit in and, at the same time, still stay true to who I am and what works for my family. I’m looking forward to meeting my neighbors and I’m hopeful that there is a community there of people that get along and have fun together. It’s something that we are missing where we live now, and I’m always envious of friends who talk fondly of neighbors, block parties and kids with play dates on the block.
So if you see me wandering around the Bloomingdale area, looking lost or twitching from lack of caffeine, come over and say Hi! I promise I’d love the company!
Jennifer Evers is a 40-something blogger and small business owner living in the Chicago suburbs with her two young daughters and a DVR full of reality television shows. She blogs about her life at Me, Myself and Jen (www.memyselfandjen.com) - single parenting, recipes, crafts and home projects, crazy things her children do, travel, celebrity encounters, community events and those wacky "Real Housewives."
See more of Jennifer's stories here.
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