I recently saw a Facebook post from a fellow mom lamenting the
fact that she lacked any good local friends. She stated she had
great friends whom she connected with online but none close by that
she could actually get together with. My heart broke a little for
her because although I now know the joy of an abundance of friends,
I've been right where she is before.
The thing that really struck me was another online friend of
hers commented that she also had no local friends, but that she was
in that situation deliberately because she didn't have time for
Wait, back up the bus! Trust me, I know that moms are busy. I
have three boys and just ONE of their activity lists includes
tackle football, flag football, baseball, basketball, band, student
council, robotics and Cub Scouts. In addition to the typical
homework, shopping, cooking and laundry routine, I also work a full
time office job AND write part time. I KNOW busy.
I also know that relationships, friendships included, take work.
But life is all about priorities. I make time for the things that
matter most to me FIRST, then the rest gets done as I am able. I
obviously must provide for my family, that's a given. I feed,
clothe and house my kids. I fulfill their physical needs first.
However, I believe that our emotional needs are not that much less
In our house, education is critical. I want my boys to grow up
to be responsible adults who are able to support themselves. If
they can find a job doing something that they truly enjoy that will
be a huge win in my book. But I also feel that I need to teach them
how to be happy, good people. Barbra Streisand wasn't lying when
she sang, "people who need people, are the luckiest people in the
Our children NEED friends to be happy. Don't we want our
children to have friends?
How then, do we expect them to grow friendships if they don't
see good examples of friendships play out in their lives? I
struggled a long time with maintaining friendships because I always
felt like I was a burden on others. I handled everything on my own,
often suffering in silence, because I didn't want to bring anyone
else down. But I wouldn't want my kids to live their lives that
way. Thankfully, some people were brought into my life that
wouldn't let me run and hide when I really needed friends the most.
As I opened up and let these people in, I found that not only were
they invaluable people in my life, but also in my kids' lives.
And as I relearned how to be a good friend, I found it easy to
make the time to reconnect with old friends. My kids can clearly
see the difference too as I used to only get together with friends
on special occasions, but now we get together regularly to
celebrate anything and anything.
Not only am I leading by example and hopefully helping my boys
learn how to make and grow true friendships, but being surrounded
by real friends makes me a better, happier person and as a result,
a better mom. So how can you NOT have time for friends?
Lisa is a full time working mom of three boys living in the far northern 'burbs.
See more of Lisa's stories here.
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