LBN's new semi-regular feature about the things, thoughts and
conundrums overheard during the course of a week. Otherwise a
bunch of small instances that are good enough to mention, but
didn't necessarily deserve a whole story.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Due to weather, distance and prior commitments the LBN team
settled on this particular weekend to celebrate Christmas with my
family in Michigan.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
After opening a slew of dust covered presents, Cathy decides to
give Lucy a heart shaped bag, full of heart shaped candies and
heart colored flowers.
"What's this?" Lu asked, looking over the red and pink
"Happy Valentine's Day!" Cathy shouts. Lucy seems - -
surprised. She looks at us, the heart bag, a pile of
discarded wrapping paper and finally her newly stacked gifts.
Maybe it was all too much for her to take in, but as she
methodically unwrapped the foil from a Hershey Kiss, I notice a
glint in her eye and it's unmistakable. It's a look
that comes only once a year, a look of bliss and whimsical
wonderment. It is joy, happiness and love. My friends,
it is none other than the Christmas Spir….
"Valentine's Day is awesome!" Lucy screams. As I grit my
teeth in horror, I now realize our grievous mistake.
Celebrating Christmas on Valentine's Day proved to be a little too
confusing for a three year old. It was all too clear that
someone is gonna be very upset next year when the only present she
gets on Valentine's Day is a cartoon themed box of mystery filled
chocolates, courtesy of Russell Stovers.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Somewhere on I-94 between Battle Creek and Kalamazoo I briefly
roll down the window next to Ruby for the purpose of eliminated a
"smell." When Cathy looks back at her a few minutes
later she notices something's missing.
"Ruby, where is your hat?" Lucy looks up from the book
she'd been reading, "Oh yeah, it flew out the window."
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
"Daddy, do you want to hear some Knock-knock jokes? I made
them up myself, you can tell your friends if you want, but they are
really-really funny." I cannot tell you how many doubts I
have about her ability to put together any sort of coherent joke,
riddle or what-have-you. But since it is in my good
nature to share my living hours with the whole world, no need to
thank me and you're welcome.
Me: Who's there?
M: Sun who?
L: Sun can you give me a shine and a hot on it?
(She laughs hysterically as she finishes the
"punch-line." I tell her it's funny, she has more).
M: Who's there?
M: TV who?
L: TV can you give me a hot on it? (Again, she laughs
hysterically. I laugh because it's like the first one except
M: Couch who?
L: Couch can you give me a hot ride on it? (She pauses. I
don't laugh, it's getting a bit redundant and I don't really get
where all the "Hot" stuff is coming from). Let me try another
L: Table (It's clear that's she's just looking around the
room and putting good furniture in her bad jokes).
M: Table who?
L: Table can you give me a hot ride and smash your face on
it? Is that funny huh?! (I laugh nervously).
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
After struggling aloud for dinner ideas, Lucy speaks up.
"Daddy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I don't know. What are you thinking?"
"Donut Holes for dinner."
"Nope, can't say I was."
Thursday, February 18, 2010
After an extensive search of the bathroom for an adult type
shampoo, I realize the only option is Lucy's Hello Kitty
shampoo. Two hours later I realize that the irritating odor
of "old-woman" perfume, blueberries and Ben-Gay is in fact my
Friday, February 19, 2010
Cathy rolls over at 6 am and asks why it smells like a 90 year
old woman gumming ribbon candy in a beige sansabelt pantsuit has
been in our room? I don't respond.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
After washing my hair for the fourth time in 2 days, I decide
that the only way to rid myself of the fragrance that I can only
describe as a mix of Mickey Rooney's armpit and nursing home sheets
is to shave my head. For the next 4 hours, Ruby cried every
time I walked into the room.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
"Daddy, do you have a job?"
"Yeah, I think you could call spending all day watching you and
Ruby a job." After a few seconds of what I assumed to be the silent
process of weighing both the magnitude and responsibility that
comes with being a parent she responds….
"I'm sorry; maybe one day you can learn how to drive a
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