Still on summer vacation? Stay there as long as possible. It’s a scary place out there in Back-to-School Land. Here’s a list of possible things you’re not quite ready to hear, whether from your preschoolers or your high school seniors:
21. When’s it going to be cold enough to wear my back-to-school clothes?
20. These shoes aren’t cute anymore.
19. I volunteered you for the (out of town/overnight) field trip!
18. Will you stay for the whole time?
17. Will you let me walk in by myself?
16. Drop-off is at 6:45am/7:30am/9:15am/12:12pm/3:30pm/5:20pm/7:02pm.
15. Pick-up is at 11:20am/12:15pm/2:10pm/3:30pm/4:13pm/5:15pm/9:09pm.
14. I volunteered you for the (weekend/evening) committee!
13. My team has 19 away games.
12. Can you drop me off a little further away from the front doors?
11. Can you drive my friends home?
10. Can I ride in my boyfriend’s car?
9. I volunteered you for the (allergen-free/themed) snack!
8. I’m not tired for bed!
7. I’m too tired for breakfast!
6. I’m taking Greek/Japanese/Yiddish/other language you don’t know and cannot possibly assist me with in the wee hours of the morning when I remember I have a project due.
5. I need 31 glue sticks, 96 pencils, and 5 PVC-free insulated bags.
4. There’s a form that has to be signed, but I forgot it/ripped it/left it somewhere.
3. It’s New Math.
2. (It’s Old Math.)
1. How many days until Christmas break?
Keely Flynn is a Chicago playwright, freelance writer, and blogger living with three young children, an extraordinarily tolerant husband, and two cats who just try to make it through the day without being ridden like ponies. Check out her personal blog, lollygagblog.com.
See more of Keely's stories here.
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