Out with your kids for a Chicago neighborhood stroll? Wondering what that thing is that you don’t want them to touch? A primer of a few choice ‘hoods, in alphabetical order:
Albany Park: Half-chewed corncobs from leftover elotes, whole loaves of squirrel-bitten pitas, squirrels
Andersonville: Craft beer coaster, old artisanal dog biscuits, semi-reclaimed wood furniture
Bronzeville: Sawdust and asbestos (those pesky mansions), BBQ sauce containers, Northside disdain
Lincoln Park: Wayward geese, wayward geese droppings, gently used Bugaboo strollers
Logan Square: The Blue line
The Loop: Pigeon poop, H&M receipts, that guy done up in silver paint (because he probably doesn’t want to be touched)
Pilsen: A mushy bag of chicharrones, freecycled art, earnestly worn Keds
River North: Smashed iPhones from angry, starving tourists who did not properly plan ahead for reservations
Rogers Park: Dog-eared Salinger novels, dented bumpers, fake I.D.s
Roscoe Village: Gelato spoons, knockoff yoga pants, that cougar that one time
Wicker Park: Big Star taco wrappers, clove butts, cassette tapes
Wrigleyville: Post-game bodily fluids. Also “pre”. Also “during.”
Keely Flynn is a Chicago playwright, freelance writer, and blogger living with three young children, an extraordinarily tolerant husband, and two cats who just try to make it through the day without being ridden like ponies. Check out her personal blog, lollygagblog.com.
See more of Keely's stories here.
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