I'm a bad mom sometimes
Monday, May 17, 2010
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Posted by Tamara O.
There are moments I feel great about my actions as a mom because in those moments, I think I'm a good mom. Then there are all the other times.
Like Sunday.
After an especially busy day running the kids to activities all day, my husband Bob took the girls out for a bike ride while I cleaned up after dinner and shuttled my son to the tennis courts.
As soon as we left the house, I spotted it. A giant gouge on the back fender of my beautiful dark cherry SUV. I felt sick to my stomach. I started crying. I knew instantly that one of the girls scraped it with their bike. Anger blinded me.
The kids know how much I love that car. I park far away from other cars to avoid those other owners from banging my car with their doors. I am always on the lookout for dangers that might befall it. I didn't think it would be one of my own kids who would ruin its pristine paint.
By the time I returned from the tennis courts, the girls were home. I screamed at them to meet me outside. I figured my youngest was the guilty party, but my 10-year-old burst into tears and admitted doing it. I started screaming at her. Yes, outside where all the neighbors could hear. How could she do that to my car? I'll spare you the rant, but I had both of us sobbing.
We're looking for stories about your 'bad' parenting moments in upcoming issues of Chicago Parent. Share them here or send them to me at tamara@chicagparent.com.
I was still furious at bedtime and she was still sobbing in her room, though I heard her sneak downstairs to put her savings -- $31 -- on my purse, telling me to use it to make the repairs.
I'm still angry and looking at the scrape this morning made me cry all over again. You might say it's just a car, that it was just an accident. You'd probably be right.
As I said, it's not my proudest moment. Now I'm left to wonder how much it will cost to fix both the car and my relationship with my sweet, accident-prone daughter?
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Milk Spills and Cars Get ScratchedBy Walter B. on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 Many years ago I remember my father saying, don't buy a car if you are afraid it will get scratched, used or abused, etc. These were wise words coming from the same man who would barely speak to me after I cracked up his favorite car years before. When he did finally speak to me he said those most difficult words a child can hear coming from their parent, "I'm disappointed in you". Later he added that he was mostly disappointed by my careless actions and even though it was his favorite car, he was just plain scared to his core that I could have died in the accident. Cars can be replaced, but how we react and make our kids feel at a tenuous moment will seldom be forgotten. I often remind myself of that when I start wanting to bellow accusations at my children, I was a kid once too and Lord knows I had my moments. Take heart, being a bad parent would be when you get angry and yell without regard to how your child is feeling. Being human is getting angry about something that upsets you and feeling bad about how you reacted. These are the real life moments that help us grow as families. |
"It's Gonna' Happen"
By Dave Guy on Tuesday, November 13, 2012
No parent will be 100% on-game all the time. It's just not going to happen. I do believe that as a parent, you get a lot of mileage out of admitting when you are wrong / apologizing to your kids. I believe it's a valuable thing to teach your kids. ALL of us are capable of making mistakes. Dave www.dupageblog.com