How do you put your game face on?
Monday, November 09, 2009
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Posted by Kim K.
There is nothing more rewarding or more amazing than being a parent. But, lately as one of my children has entered the world of school age, I am realizing that this really is THE hardest job in the world. At least the hardest job in MY world, but that's what makes it so great. Where I have struggled for the past six years is how to be a happy, undistracted parent when my personal "non-mommy" world has bumps.
I call it the game of Donkey Kong. How do you interact with your children when you are jumping over constant barrels and swinging from vines and trees? How do you interact when you have an argument with your spouse? Or, you've had a lousy day at work? Or, your mother is bothering you. Or, you are just feeling the stress of everyday life for no particular reason, except for the fact that you just ARE.
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I have gotten better over the years, but still wonder how I can be the kind of person who can shut it off until 7:45 p.m. (when the kids go to bed). How can I ensure that they don't see what's happening in my world? How can I put my game face on? Am I the only mom who struggles with this?
My husband is really good at turning it off. I'd like to know how YOU turn it off. How do you put your game face on for the kids? How do you conduct business as usual, even though you just don't want to or feel like you can't?
Suggestions?
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a universal themeBy meredith on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 Even if you are a stay-at-home parent it can be a struggle to keep you kids out of your "crazy". We just have to keep the game face on for more hours in the day. Now that my kids are in fill-day school, I am much more protective of the fiveish hours I actually interact with them each day. I strive to make those hours good ones. That being said, I think it is completely okay to explain why ya might be a bit "off" some days. They know you're not yourself, and they will appreciate the explanation. |
Game faceBy Tamara O'Shaughnessy on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 After a frustrating day -- or long commute home -- I usually pause for a few minutes to collect myself before going into the house. I love that my kids still great me at the door with hugs and scream "Mommy's home." I am just as happy to see them and all the frustration is washed away. It is good for them to understand bad days so I often have them share the good and bad of their day over dinner or on the way to their activities and then I share my stories. I'm sure they are sick of me asking: How can you make it a better day tomorrow? In the scheme of things, a bad day is just that, a bad day. I'm trying to teach kids to let the bad stuff roll off them (that negative things sap their energy if they let them and wastes time) and keep things they can't control in perspective. I live on the bright side of life and hope that's a lesson I'm teaching them by example. |
Not so sure Game Face is always bestBy Nancy S. on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 When my kids were smaller, I was definitely more concerned about turning it off when with them. Now that they're older, I am not as concerned about showing my true feelings. Every night at dinner we each take turns to talk about the highlight of our day and the worst part of our day (if any). It's a game we've played since they were really little. We have continued it as they've grown and I have to say that it has been a great role playing/learning experience for both of them (and me, too). When one of us has had a bad day, we talk about what made it that way and brainstorm ways to solve the problem together. I am careful not to share things that might make my kids feel unstable (concerns about money, schools, etc), but for the most part I believe that my kids have learned that life is full of obstacles and how we address them can make the difference between a great day or a bad day. |
Mrs.By Sarah on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 I think it's a good idea to try to put a game face on when you can, but some days that is just too hard to do. I think it's important for kids to understand that mommy and daddy have bad days too. They watch our every move and can sense when things are off so it is best to be upfront and honest with them from the get-go. No need to go into detail, but as long as you aren't taking out your bad day on them, they can learn an important lesson of empathy and how they should handle a bad day if they ever have one (so just make sure you aren't throwing things :) and are setting a good example of how to be crabby :) |
Smiling Faces Turn OffBy David Johns on Tuesday, November 13, 2012 No matter what's going on in my life I always try to remember that my children have no way of understanding what it is like being a parent. They only know how you make them feel, when they are with you. What works best for me is to take a moment to shake off the trials and tribulations of the day. Then I look right into the smile of a happy face when my excited child runs up hug me and says "Daddy is Home!" Work day turned off, Game (face) On! |
Good ideas
By Kim on Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Thanks for all of your tips and insight. I think it's okay to be human.....and you can't protect them from everything....My son who is in first grade also has good days and bad days. It's a part of life. Keep sharing everyone!