Last week, I wanted to run screaming away from the
mission I've called motherhood for the past six years and some
After spending five days away recharging at a
conference, I thought I'd feel ready to return to regular life and
live it with courage and dedication. So much for that.
While away, I was reminded of the importance of
this motherhood mission - that as a writer on special assignment
from the Great Editor and Chief, the most beautiful words I will
ever write will be ones of love and truth written on the hearts of
my child, who will hopefully go out into the world and live those
words through their lives.
While I'd been away, I was encouraged to choose to
live in the courage of faith.
While I'd been away, I was challenged over and over
again to choose to take heart, to be strong and
While I'd been away, I was admonished to choose
love and truth before I choose to believe the persistent, softly
whispered lies that are so easily tossed about during the dailyness
of our lives.
Funny thing is, I didn't know why I needed these
message in relation to mothering. When I'd left home, everything
was going swimmingly.
As I soaked in this wisdom and truth at the
conference, I thought it might have been more of a preparatory
message for the season of mothering I'm heading into that includes
welcoming a 12-year-old orphan from Eastern Europe into our home
this Christmas season for five weeks.
While it likely will apply to that situation, I
didn't expect to return home and need those truths fresh in my mind
just survive the week with my boys.
I'm not talking about true batten-down-the-hatches,
the-storm-is-a-raging kind of survival that happens in the face of
a tragedy, but rather the kind of survival from a storm that churns
up the internal waters in the soul and stirs up a sort of water
funnel that's trying to suck everyone under.
There were tears. There was anger. There was
frustration. And that was just from me.
While my youngest was just extra clingy from our
separation, my oldest was swirling around in that water vortex,
threatening to drown in his own bad attitude. For the sake of his
privacy, I won't divulge details, but I will tell you that it made
me feel like all the mothers of grown boys had been holding out on
me. They failed to share that six years old is the new
As we muddled through really hard days filled with
more discord than normally fills an entire six months around my
house, I clung to the truth of choice.
I had a choice. I could choose to live in faith
that God would walk through this with us, or in fear that we were
somehow ruining our child.
I could choose to take heart and face the
challenges or take off running away from the issues, scared to face
I could choose to love my boy and believe he loved
me or I could choose the lies that whisper other
Everything is a choice. We can either react to
circumstances or we can respond to them in faith.
I reacted quite a bit last week, but I responded in
faith more than I would have had I not been fresh off a weekend
that encouraged me to cling to the truth.
The truth is that life isn't easy. God never
promised us easy lives; free of worries and cares.
What He did was promise to walk with us through the
hard times because He cares for us.
This week, I'm trying to choose to walk in the
courage of faith.
Walk with me?
A journalist by nature and profession, Hyacynth has been on special assignment from the great editor and chief covering the foreign land of motherhood alongside her brave husband for six years.
See more of Hyacynth's stories here.
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