I've decided I need to make out with my hubby more. He and I
used to do that a lot; we'd spend hours kissing and enjoying sweet,
sensual moments together that didn't necessarily lead anywhere
Our make-out sessions continued for a little while after we got
married. But then came a kid and two busy careers, and our
pucker-up rate slowed down considerably. You can safely say that in
the last few years, random acts of smooching have not been very
high on our priority list.
Well, I've decided to change all that. I'm bringing make outs
back to marriage.
Once I made the decision to re-enter the world of gratuitous
kissing, I started thinking about what song would best fit the
mood, which inevitably led to me reminiscing about the
make-out music that has marked my 25-year kissing career. Here's a
pre-smartphone snapshot of the smooches I've scattered along my
1989 - "Patience" - Guns N Roses
My first high school boyfriend asked me out to this song.
Recall, if you will, the whistling at the end. Gets me every
1991 - "She Moves in Mysterious Ways" - U2
High school boyfriend number #2 put this as the first song on a
mix tape he made for me. How cool is that?
1995-1996 - ????? - Phish
College boyfriend. Can't remember specifics.
1996 - "Friday I'm in Love" - The Cure
Sigh. How about we skip ahead a few years. No need to dwell in
2001 - "When You're Gone" - Sade
Yes, just kissing! (Although I hear you; this CD is hot, hot,
In 2002, I met my husband and the music and kisses in my life
changed. Over the years, we've had the Miles Davis make-out phase,
the Sarah McLachlan make-out phase, and even a Beyoncé phase. Then,
a petering out. Not a whole lot of making out and music combos.
But now I'm back in action, lips fully med-exed and ready to go.
It hasn't taken me long to figure out which song is the winner of
my More Making-Out Campaign. My choice is likely to surprise
2011 - "Someone Like You" - Adele
I know, it might seem a bit strange that what seems like a
breakup song (and is probably a breakup song), is my pick for best
kissing ballad. But I can't help it. Every time I hear I hear this
song, I want to slow dance with my hubby and smooch him till the
cows come home. Here's a section…
"… I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for
you too. Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you say: Sometimes it
lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead…
Nothing compares, no worries or cares. Regret's and mistakes
they're memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this
"Someone Like You" reminds me of what marriage is all about.
It's not the over-simplified, wedding-as-the-finish line experience
poorly depicted on my otherwise much-loved "Sex and the City." As
much as I adored that show when I was single, I couldn't help but
be disappointed when they often portrayed marriage as a dichotomy;
The Trey: perfect on the outside, irreparably flawed on the inside
or The Harry: physically compromising but sparkly and unblemished
This soulful song by Adele speaks to me because, as most of us
marrieds know, there is heartache in marriage. Along with the joy,
tenderness and life-long partnership we'd hoped for, we learn
unexpectedly that marriage can also include loneliness,
disappointment, frustration and sorrow. "Someone Like You" is
a reminder that, even with the tough moments, there are still
cherished memories to be made, a deep desire to do what's best for
the other person, and a love that may sometimes taste bittersweet
but can still last forever.
Hence the kissing. Combined with this song, the kissing brings
me right back to the present, when I re-discover that the "someone
like you" is my husband, and has been all along, even when I'm
pushing him away and letting all of the other "stuff" and people in
our lives interfere. In those moments, the heartache melts
away and what's left can only be described as, well, even for a
lover of words, this moment may just be indescribable.
What were your make-out songs? Do you have one? If not,
what will yours be?
~By Wendy Widom, Partner, Families in the Loop
Here's Adele performing "Someone Like You"
Wendy Widom is CEO of Familes in the Loop (FITL), Chicago's hippest hub for parents and kids.
See more of Wendy 's stories here.
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