I do not know if it is the weather, too much time together, or
payback for registering them for swim lessons in the middle of
February, but lately my kids have been bound and determined to
throw me under the bus.
Just yesterday, my oldest son and I bickered throughout the
morning over his packing his own lunch. Danny eventually
acquiesced, but in typical last-word fashion, made it clear to the
world that he felt his mother was extremely derelict in her
No sooner had one skirmish ended than another began. My youngest
son Joey had somehow managed to finagle an empty bottle of Crown
Royal from his grandfather last week. I am told he expressed deep
regard for it being "pretty" and "shiny." Grandpa (being a grandpa)
immediately rinsed it out and happily obliged, completely unaware
of the battle royal that would follow.
I found Joey at the kitchen table yesterday with his prized
possession carefully placed within arm's reach.
I began questioning my kindergartner on his intentions for the
morning as I nervously eyed his new breakfast sidekick.
"I'm gonna take dis bottle to school to show all my
Only upon threats of a life without cookies, toys, and video
games was I able to get Joey to release his death grip on the
Canadian Whiskey bottle.
He is still insisting on bringing it to Show & Tell
I called my dad to inform him that the next time he gives away a
Crown Royal bottle, it best go to me.
And he should make absolutely sure it's full.
Like I said, it's been a long winter.
Marianne is mother of three sons and the wife of a southside Irish fireman. She has learned that sometimes you're just too dumb to know what makes you happy. She blogs regularly at We Band of Mothers (webandofmothers.com) and curses with even greater frequency. Her material is written for the imperfect, the imprudent, and the impatient mothers who know that all this stuff is really very funny if you just give it a minute.
See more of Marianne's stories here.
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