I believe every mom has her Achilles' heel: that one vulnerable
area of motherhood that can wreak havoc on a woman's psyche and
inner peace. It can be a supermarket tantrum, a school project, or
even a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. Most moms recognize their
weaknesses and heroically try to protect that last fragile link to
sanity. So how do they do to cope? Some outsource. They assign
certain tasks to their husbands and partners. Some redirect. Or
some avoid, avoid, avoid.
What's that old quote about insanity? Doing the same thing
over and over and expecting different results.
Sounds about right.
Take ice hockey, for instance. I have horrible bouts of anxiety
and stress every time I have to take the boys to their classes when
my husband is at work. For me, ice hockey is the very epitome of
misery: the small, crowded dressing area; the noise; my whiny
children complaining about how I lace their skates all wrong. And
don't even get me started on the expense. I am the cheapest person
ever to walk the face of the earth and my husband chose the most
expensive sport known to man.
And on top of everything else, I really hate being cold.
So I end up yelling at the boys, the coaches, and anyone within
striking distance who gives me that tsk-tsk look. It's ugly. I
don't like who I become at ice hockey. I'm not nice, funny or
remotely sane. I become….that mom.
I began wondering if any of my friends have experienced similar
episodes of becoming that mom when their Achilles' heels
were exposed. The responses I got were rather illuminating:
"Piano lessons. I got yelled at by the piano teacher for
not enforcing practice and I lost it. Piano was my husband's idea
and he promised to practice with our son. I really resented being
the object of her wrath. I was like, LADY…I'M JUST THE
"The park. I hate the park. I know it's wrong
and my kids need to play outside and all, but the germ factor just
freaks me out. I run around with my disinfectant wipes and every
mom there thinks I'm crazy. And don't even get me started on those
play pits at the mall…."
"The zoo. Everybody is all 'Let's go to the zoo.
Isn't the zoo so much fun! Where's your zoo membership?' And
I'm thinking 'What is wrong with you people where you want to
go to a place that smells like…THE ZOO?'"
"Homework. I feel that's pretty self-explanatory. My
kids have stopped asking for help, and I can't say as I blame them.
I get shaky just thinking about it. You don't happen to have a
cigarette, do you?"
Whew. My research made me feel a little less alone. Other
mothers have their own versions of ice hockey… their own Achilles'
heel. We've all been that mom at one point or another. And
if you've never been that mom, please just don't say it
aloud. The karma gods will find you.
They always do.
Marianne is mother of three sons and the wife of a southside Irish fireman. She has learned that sometimes you're just too dumb to know what makes you happy. She blogs regularly at We Band of Mothers (webandofmothers.com) and curses with even greater frequency. Her material is written for the imperfect, the imprudent, and the impatient mothers who know that all this stuff is really very funny if you just give it a minute.
See more of Marianne's stories here.
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