As a parent, I always appreciate some good advice
now and again. My mom passed away when my oldest was a year and a
half, so it's always welcomed.
However, that being said, there seems to be a new
trend of celebrities and politicians making videos telling us how
to talk to and raise our kids.
I am all for a good public service announcement,
cuz' "Only you can prevent forest fires," however, having
celebrities sit in front of a camera and tell me what I should and
shouldn't be saying to my kids is annoying and needs to
We don't tell their nannies how to raise their
kids, why have Jane Lynch and Batman's wife suddenly decided that I
want to hear their parenting tips? Does Jane Lynch even have
I understand they are trying to spread positive
thoughts about raising healthy little girls and boys, but why don't
they start with their own kind: see Lindsey Lohan, Justin Bieber
and the 100 other Hollywood head cases. You all live in a town and
work in an industry that celebrates excess and awful behavior, and
you are telling me what again?
I will admit it right here and now, I have used the
phrases "Be a man" with my son and "Don't be so bossy" with my
daughter. However, every single day, I make sure I say to them,
"Are you proud of yourself today? Tell me why," and "Attack the day
with all of your positive energy" (Jim Harbaugh's dad used that
one) and "You can do anything if you believe in
It is my hope and my dream that those are the
phrases they will remember as they grow and mature. I hear them say
it a lot: "Dad, I was scared but I believed in myself and I did
it." or "I got an 'A'. I studied really hard and got an 'A.' I am
proud of myself," and on and on.
Now, in the instances that I use those phrases we
are no longer allowed to use, I always follow with an
To my three-year-old daughter at 5 a.m., while having a
tea party: "Honey, quit being so bossy. It doesn't matter how I
serve Bunny Bear the tea. I am pretty sure he's going to enjoy
To my five-year-old son after the baby crawls across his
feet for the umpteenth time: "Buddy, be a man. He's a baby and
weighs 24 pounds. There's no way that hurt."
If these are the phrases that f@#% up my kids then
I have dodged the biggest parenting bullet in the history of
parenting because I have made much bigger mistakes than using the
These are my kids we're talking about; they are
already up against a massive 8 ball!
Yes, words hurt. But so do bad movies and annoying
videos. Well not really, but they are a bit self serving and over
the top. Jennifer Garner, if you want to help a cause, call your
hubby's bestie Matt Damon. He always has something or someone to
Hey famous people and Sheryl Sandberg, if you really want
to make a
video that actually helps parents and children, make one
telling me how to get them to eat broccoli, flush the toilet or
stay in bed. That would make for a much happier home and in turn,
"Hello I am Beyonce, you know, Blue Ivy's mom. If you
simply check on your kid as he wipes his a&$, he will most
likely stop using the entire roll and clogging the
That's information I need.
Sheryl Sandberg, you want to fix something? Fix
Facebook for heaven's sake. Make it the fun, idea sharing community
it used to be, and not a money hungry monster that has more rules
than an Amish girl on a first date.
According to celebritynetworth.com Jennifer Garner
is worth close to 40 million dollars.
You want to help save my kids? Pay for their
college educations. That way you can make them hemp wearing vegans
if you want to, but until then, quit telling me how to talk to my
David Wallach thinks SAHD sounds sad. He’s a D.A.D. A Dad All Day!
See more of David's stories here.
Let us plan your weekend with the best family events and activities in Chicagoland.
Start the week right with deals, prizes, parent life hacks and more delivered straight to your inbox.
Need last-minute ideas for a weekend of family fun? No worries. We've got you.
Get the inside scoop on the people, places and things we are loving right now.
Resources, tips, inspiration and more for parents of children with special needs.
Score exclusive offers from our fabulous advertisers.